All Gods children have trouble. Even if you do not consider yourself a child of God , I'm sure you have had your very own tsunami that ripped your world apart. I have had several. Too many. Betrayal by those you loved and trusted the most ranks up there with the life changers. That one that makes you the person you never thought you would ever be. I absolutely hate the quote "whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger" Really? There may be some truth to that , let me assure you it may make you stronger but on the flip side most people will find it has also made them bitter, unable to trust again and cynical as hell. Self preservation baby... you don't want that to happen again. I went through a divorce that I thought I could not make it through - my husband of 25 years starts affair with co-worker who is the age of our daughters. Add to that he is the chaplain for the fire department where he worked and her supervisor. Last but certainly not least, she and her husband lived next door. Nope , not kidding. I fed her, became her friend and POW right in the kisser. Honestly, I was much more angry at him than her... I often said if I saw the two drowning and had one life preserver I would toss it to her. This is probably too much info, but suffice it to say after two miserable years of divorce proceedings, mediation, yada yada yada it was finally over. It was a struggle to rise from the mire of my own brokenheart and re-invent my life. I had so much anger. If you have been there you know the continuing banner that scrolls through your mind : how could he do this after all these years together? How could I have been (chose to be) so blind? Oh my God- I'm sick with a chronic illness and alone! How will I pay the bills and take care of everything?.... and on and on and on. My biggest regret is the absolute feeling of having no closure. One day we were and the next we were not.... and we never discussed the situation or the end of the book. Boom went the dynamite one night and he was just gone. It was like he died but his ghost image was still here for me to see around town and since we both worked in emergency services, hear his voice over the radio.. a dead man talking. It has been seven years and I am to the point where it is just another day and they are just an afterthought. I have bigger fish to fry with this new diagnosis of hPOTS. Now I would pull them both out of the stormy sea if they were drowning, so I guess that is a good sign of Gods healing power.
The only way I can make it in this world is humor...If you are in the dark place of betrayal,heartbreak and that old devil fear, I implore you to light a candle and curse the darkness!! You are more than a conqueror sister.