11/28/16~The Day The Fire Came

photo source unknown

11/28/16

Monday, November the 28th, 2016

              The eleventh month, the twenty eighth day, in the year of our Lord Two Thousand and Sixteen.

It doesn't matter how many ways I say this date, I get a knot in my stomach and my mouth becomes as parched as the landscape on that horrible day.  It was and will remain for thousands of people a day that changed their lives forever.  Some paid the ultimate price but all of us who live, work or have a deep love for these treasured mountains have been scarred. Some will bear the obvious physical scars while many, including me, will forever carry the unseen emotional scarring. 

Before I go on with the blog I need to say something. As many of you know who follow my blog Reflections From The Granny Bed, my job is the Communications Director for the Sevier County Tennessee 911 Central Dispatch. I will not be discussing the particulars of calls. It is not appropriate and we are under an directive from the District Attorney to keep the files and recordings closed until the criminal investigation is complete.  This blog is about very general information, emotions, thoughts, fears and the reality of the events of the day as seen through my eyes. I need to write this. I  have had some difficult days and sleepless nights, as have many, in the past two months.

I'm going to back up a little to the weekend of Thanksgiving.  On Thanksgiving weekend, Sevier County's population grows from around 87,000 residents to probably well over 250,000.  Our County encompasses the cities of Gatlinburg, Sevierville, Pigeon Forge and the Town of Pittman Center.
I live in Pittman Center which is about 10 minutes from downtown Gatlinburg. We had been in a severe drought for several weeks and the whole area was a tinder box and we, as emergency service workers were aware that we could have a break out of brush fires. This is one of the most difficult calls to dispatch, especially when the Wildland Task Force is activated. What this means is every fire department and usually the Forestry Department are all dispatched to a scene. We have three paid fire departments and eight volunteer departments in our County.
 I remember being so happy we had made it through the Holiday without a major incident.
However, we knew the National Park had an active fire near the Chimney Tops Trail that started the day before Thanksgiving.

Chimney Tops Fire  GSMNP

This is approximately 8 miles from Gatlinburg. We answer any 911 calls placed within the National Park and transfer those callers to the NPS Dispatch Center if they need a Ranger. We send an ambulance from Gatlinburg if its medical in nature or a car accident.

On that Monday morning, my friend and partner in crime Lisa text me from her job in Gatlinburg. She worked at the Mountain Lodge Restaurant ( a casualty of the fire) on the East Parkway. The text read " what is going on in Gatlinburg?"  I was in my office and quickly looked at the CAD screen and  didn't see anything significant. She then forwarded me these photos:

This was about 11am in the morning and was taken from the Mountain Lodge.  I went to the back to check with the dispatchers and they said that they were told we did not have an active fire in the city of Gatlinburg and that the smoke and ash was from the Chimney Tops 2 Fire.

I recall looking at the sky many times that day from Sevierville, in the direction toward Gatlinburg, Pittman Center and the Smoky Mountains and honestly it scared me. Apocalyptic, was the only way I could describe it.   All I knew to do was to make sure I was kept up to date as the day went on as usual with all the other routine calls of various nature we get. I can say that if there is any silver lining in this tragedy (in my personal opinion), it is that the fire occurred on a Tuesday instead of over the weekend when every cabin and hotel would have been filled to capacity. Most tourists had left on Sunday morning, as they traditionally do on a Holiday weekend.
 I know that is little comfort to many and I in no way mean to diminish their grief.

I was home and already in PJ's which is pretty typical for me on any work day by 6pm.  I had heard a few sirens a little later and thought " oh no, I hope its not a brush fire". I had also noticed the winds had picked up and suddenly a gust shook my house. I knew it had to be a heavy wind to do so.  About that time my phone rang and what I can only explain as a 24 hour period of hell on earth began. 

" You need to get out of your house and we are covered up and can't answer all the incoming calls"

I briefly was able to ask "where's the fire and what do you need?"
I certainly wasn't prepared for the answer of "fires all over and more reports coming in, particularly in the Gatinburg area and Cobbly Nob."
Cobbly Nob is about five minutes from my house.

I quickly gathered a few vital things. I loaded my two little Toy Fox Terriers, Merry and Pippin,  and Pyewacket the kitten into crates.

I had to make the decision to leave Ms. Kitty. She is a feral cat and has never been in a car. I bade her farewell and turned her out. I went to the chicken house and opened their door if they needed to try to get away. My Daughter and son-in-law where in Illinois visiting his family. I just recently got a little VW Beetle and when I got partially down the driveway I saw that my heirloom Old Fashioned Milum Apple tree had fell victim to the wind and was blocking the driveway and I couldn't get out.

I loved that apple tree. In one of my blogs "Too Many Apples , Not Enough Spoonies" I tell the story behind the tree and its journey from the old home place in the National Park.

I realized I was stuck.  I knew I couldn't move the tree. My only choice was to drive through the neighbors hedge row and exit out of his driveway. He is elderly and lives in Nashville most of the year.  He keeps a small opening in his Forsythia hedge for the riding lawn mower. Thank goodness for the Beetle... I slipped through the hedge with just a few scratches to the sides.

 As I pulled to the highway I could see the orange glows from the Smokies and from the direction of Gatlinburg.

One of my daughters friends Heather, called and said the road to their house was closed and they couldn't get in to their dog and cat that were both inside. I felt so bad for her but told her stay away, they were already in Sevierville. They lost their home and animals to the fire. I am so thankful they were not on Wiley Oakley where their house was. It was hit really hard.

I knew I was not driving that direction so I headed out the backroads to Sevierville. The traffic which was usually very light was heavy and the wind was blowing me all over the place. I got behind a big truck and we had to stop a couple times to move trees. It took me over a half an hour to get to the dispatch center.

When I walked in I was just stunned. Every department was talking, multi phone lines were ringing and every dispatcher was engaged.  Six dispatchers were on the console radio's, two were on portables and I took a third portable. It was about 7:30 pm. I normally had four people on this time of the evening. Two had stayed over from their shifts and two had come in from off days. Later another came in as well to help. She was on vacation. David Rauhuff, the Emergency District Director came as well and helped.  As I said above, I'm not getting into the calls. Suffice it to say our records show we received 1409 calls in a 24 hour period. Our average call volume on that particular day of the week and in November would be some where between 100-125 in 24 hours. This is where I am having some issues personally with coping. I know some calls did not get answered and I just can't wrap my mind around that. We have an average 3 second answer time on over 98% of all calls.  There was no time in an approximate 14 hour period that the phones were not constantly ringing. We have six incoming lines. We kept all our equipment up and running but Gatlinburg Police was not so lucky. We lost contact with them at about 8:30pm when they had to evacuate the police department building. The phone lines were damaged as well as some cell towers.

All I can say it was like being in a nightmare in slow motion. I remember one time they told me I had a call and it was the State 911 Director from Nashville wanting to know how we were and if we needed help or anything. I remember numbly saying " we are doing all we can, as fast as we can."  And it just kept on and on... I have heard it called "The Perfect Storm".  I guess it was, but it was also a vision of chaos and the hand of nature giving you a bitch slap so hard your head spun in circles. A friendly reminder, if you will, of how little control we actually have.

Below are some photos of the Spur road. This is the road that connects Gatlinburg and Pigeon Forge.

We had people getting into the river that divides the road to escape the heat and flames. Also we directed folks to swimming pools who couldn't get out of an area because of blocked roads.

No Way Joses and the Ripleys Aquarium in front of Greystone Heights burning

from Inside Park Vista Hotel

 As the night progressed all we could do was pray for the rain that was moving slowly through middle Tennessee. At about 2am, I realized no one had food all evening so David and I went to Walmart and got stuff for sandwiches, while we were out the heavenly rain began to fall.  After everyone had taken a quick break and ate a sandwich, I had to go to my office in absolute exhaustion. I have several Chronic Illnesses and honestly, I wasn't sure how long I was going to be upright and conscious. I had left the animal tribe in my office and had let Merry and Pip out of the crate. I guess the stress of the sudden trip and unknown place had scared them terribly. They are 12 year old sisters and their bladders have seen better days...whose hasn't?  One of them had peed all in my recliner chair that I use when I feel the POTS getting ready to take me out. I realized that night if you are tired and stressed out enough, that even dog pee will not stop you from getting horizontal. I slept two hours and when I got back to the dispatch area at 4:30a, they were visibly shaken from an elevator rescue but elated the couple had finally been freed after several hours. I learned later that one of the dispatchers lead a group prayer for the couple.   I can say without hesitation I am so proud of this group of unsung heroes.

After the rain and the sun rose, the full extent of the damage begin to set in. I think it took several days for most of us to really know how extensive the fires and damage were. We soon were saddened to hear about the loss of life as well. 2400 buildings lost. Let that sink in for a few.
One situation that was particularly hard on all of us was that one of our volunteer agencies, Pittman Center Volunteer Fire Department, had pretty much battled a monster all night without communications after their repeater site burned.  We had no idea in dispatch the size of their fire, where they were or if they were ok. They were in the community of Cobbly Nob, east of Gatlinburg pretty much on their own. We sent them initially on one structure fire. They ended up with 98 houses involved. For the first nine (9) hours they battled alone on that mountain in high winds that reached gusts of almost 90 mile an hour. They had a total of 19 firefighters. The Chief is Rosemary Nichols. She is the little sister of my friend Lisa and my neighbor here in Pittman Center.

Hellfire may have rained down on us that night, but many stories of courage, faith and grace are being shared.

Aerial view of Cobbly Nob

Roaring Fork Baptist Church

One thing that I wish everyone in America was aware of .... if anyone wants a lesson in how to behave post- crisis look no further than our County. To my knowledge, we had zero looting in a Town filled with retail shops and expensive items. Some areas of Gatlinburg were closed for almost two weeks, even to residents. The only thing that was a problem was an overflow and abundance of donated items, so much that we ran out of space to store the goods. And then lets talk about Dolly Parton:

 Her foundation has raised almost 10 million dollars to aide the victims of the fires, especially the ones who lost homes that were renters or lived in weekly housing. Those poor souls lost everything. Almost all the housing used by the Hispanic community was lost and several motels that housed the workers for many restaurants and hotels burned. 
  I haven't really ever talked much about this on the blog,  but my mom and Dolly's dad were brother and sister. The Granny I named this blog after is Dolly's grandma as well as mine.  She was bedridden her entire adult life with what I believe is the same medical issue I am now facing. I have always been proud of Dolly, but this act of generosity  has elevated her to a level of respect that is shared by everyone I know.  She may truly be the Dolly Lama.

Decoration Day

Lindsay Cemetery    Mike Maples photographer via Facebook

As long as I can remember, our family has loved a trip to the cemetery. Now, let me preface that with we do prefer to walk of our on accord instead of being carried.  Many a Sunday picnic in Greenbrier ended with a walk to one of the several cemeteries in that section of the Great Smoky Mountains National Park. Our elders rest in those hallowed grounds and the families of those scattered during the establishment of the Park in the mid 1920's continue to yearn for a connection to our roots.  I remember one summer evening in particular when I along with mom, my sister Marjorie, cousin Pat (yep the Pat of Old Diamond fame) and Aunt Hazel went to Friendship Cemetery right at dusk to decorate the grave for the upcoming Decoration Day. The cemetery is on the hill to the right of the bridge over the river to Ramsey Cascades.  My Aunt Margie Parton, who died when she was around 3 years old is buried there. She died of pneumonia as did many mountain children.  We had been in the cemetery only a few minutes when we heard the scream of what I have been told my whole life is a Panther.  Now, few things struck fear in our hearts more than the word Panther.  Dr. Wadley, our local dentist was neck at neck in the fear category in my 6 year old opinion.

  It was dusky dark, right at the time when long shadows and fading light play tricks with the eyes and mind. The adults tried to keep their cool but I was neither dumb nor deaf.  So mom and Hazel were herding us out of the cemetery when the scream rose again, this time closer. What happened next is a little hazy. I  remember the screaming . I'm not sure if it was all of us or the big cat. Maybe a combination of both. The yell of the cat came closer and I remember mom wailing  "Oh Lord, its in the trees".... at this point, I became boneless and just flopped over between the head stones. I knew good and well one of the four would carry me , thus increasing my chance of survival. Mom swooped in lifting me up in  full momma bear mode.  The cat came closer and I heard a branch in a tree break. It seemed like nightfall happened instantaneously. I buried my face in fear and bosoms and hung on for the ride of my life. Maybe next season Dollywood will have a new ride called "Panther Run". The worlds first roller coaster that travels through old cemeteries and moonshine still filled Hollows whilst a screaming  'Painter jumps through the pine branches above your head...hmm...now I want a funnel cake.
We ran for our lives toward Aunt Hazels Ford Fairlane  parked beside the trailhead at the river. Even though no one actually saw the Panther, we pretty much all agreed it was a close call that night in the cemetery.  Every time I go to the cemetery, I remember that Decoration Day and realize that rain, sleet ,snow or Panther cannot keep an Appalachian woman from going to visit a cemetery. 
I wish my biggest adversary was a Panther at this point in my life. But dealing with my chronic illness is somewhat the same as the big cat in the tree: scary, powerful and invisible.
Tomorrow is Decoration Day and for the first time I just simply cannot make it to decorate the graves. My sister is in a boot for a foot injury as well. We talked today about how bad we hated and resented this illness that has trapped us both.  I had hoped that today I could take the flowers to the cemeteries, but it is not to be. I have been in the Granny Bed all day and simply do not have the energy to make the trek. Most of our fathers side of the family are at Lindsay Cemetery and Huskey Cemetery. We try to every year keep the old mountain tradition of Decoration Day going, but I fear it is fading fast with many families.
Early in the spring, the women would start to make the crepe paper flowers that were placed on the graves in those day. Sometimes they were dipped in paraffin wax to hold up to the elements better.

Decoration Day was and is a major event in southern Appalachia. The Sunday begins with a church service and usually ends with a dinner on the ground and a singing. Many have the old whole note or Harp singers. Here is a video to Harp singing at Cades Cove:

 Before our grandfather died he told the family to make sure and put flowers on the little grave of dads little sister Opal who died in infancy. Pap always took Sweet Williams and Seven Sisters Roses.

There is no greater guilt than a mountain woman denied the ability to make it to Decoration Day.
My sister said that our earthly flowers would pale to those they are enjoying in Paradise. I'm sure that is true.
But the Good Lord willing, I will make it next year if that dang Panther don't get me....

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The Wave Goodbye... a tribute post to Justin and Stephanie Shults and those who love them.

 

It still seems so surreal and unimaginable. Everyday we are flooded with images of violence and war torn areas worldwide, but we are once removed from it, or so we thought. Oh we shake our heads and think how terrible it is that radical Islam has killed yet another group of people. But we tend to forget as the pressing issues of our daily lives keep most of us in a whirlwind of activity and responsibilities. Those images soon fade, but not anymore. All of our lives in this small  Tennessee mountain community have changed with the senseless death of Justin and Stephanie Shults who died in the Brussels bombing. Justin grew up in Sevier County and attended Gatlinburg Pittman High School as did his parents Sheila Branam Shell and Jeff Shults.  My good friend Lisa that is Ethel to my Lucy is their first cousin. I am heart sick over their deaths, as are so many.

RANDY BRANAM

  My first boyfriend in high school was Sheilas brother Randy. We dated a couple of years but drifted apart as time passed. I became particularly close to their parents Bruce and Juanita during this time. Bruce was a police officer for the City of Gatlinburg. He was instrumental in helping me get my first job in my chosen profession.  They loved their kids and were very nice, down to earth people. Several years later Juanita was my first baby sitter for my daughter Courtney when she was very little and I started back to work.She would call her Corky and spoiled her as if she was her very own granddaughter. 

JUANITA AND BRUCE BRANAM

 Uncle Bruce was a basketball lover. You definitely wanted him on your side in the bleachers during the big game. He took the round ball serious.
I didn't see them much as the years went on and as most of us, our own lives took hold and we were busy with our families. They're a lot of people gone I wished I had spent more time with. This is a lesson that sadly is usually learned as the wisdom of age sets in.  All three have passed on now, as well as a second brother Mike.

I didn't know Justin personally, only through pictures and seeing his name associated with the local high school. From all accounts he was an exceptional young man with a loving spirit and a bright future. His wife Stephanie is from Kentucky and they met in college at Vanderbilt. We grieve her loss as well here in Sevier County and I pay my sincere condolences to the Moore family in Lexington.

JUSTIN SHULTS, SHEILA BRANAM SHELL AND STEPHANIE MOORE SHULTS

I can't imagine the grief and sorrow the families are enduring. It is my understanding the bodies are back on American soil and will be released soon. Under the worldwide media attention, I hope they can grieve and bury their children without added stress. Please keep them in your prayers and thoughts as they face the next step in this ruthless tragedy.

I can't seem to get the image of Stephanie's mother waving goodbye to them at the airport out of my mind and my heart. Apparently, it was at this moment that the lunatics detonated the bomb as she was turned back giving them a final wave.Mothers do that, especially Southern mothers. We follow our loved ones and kids to the car as their leaving and watch as they leave till they are no longer in sight.  Departing can become a lengthy process as we realize "oh, one more thing"..When I was a child everyone did this, you stood on the front porch and waved until the visitors, whether family or not was gone from view.  I hope that the last thing that Justin and Stephanie saw on this old earth was the waving hand of their smiling mother saying goodbye. I pray and believe that the angels who were dispatched to escort them, whisked their souls to the Heavens so quickly that they instantly raised their eyes to see their grandparents and loved ones waving Hello as Jesus welcomed them to their forever home.

                                                                   

HALLOWEEN~Ghosts of Days Gone By

I was born on a Sunday morning at straight up 2 a.m. under the dark of the moon, also known as the new moon.

I suspect this has a tad to do with why I have always been drawn toward supernatural occurrences,the after life, celestial bodies and all things that go bump in the night.

As long as I can remember, I have felt different someway. Not bad or sad, just different. Drawn toward the unseen....this may be in part because I spent a lot time alone up until I was about 12 years old. I was a lonely child who did not play well with others. I spent my time in the woods or playing in the creek and had a fantastic imagination. I recall the time I played and ran from my shadow all day on the dusty road of my childhood home. Pretend and unseen friends were my normal and I also believe the origins of my absolute love of all things Halloween.

I have talked about my cousin Pat before on this blog- Everything in Life I Learned From Lucy post. She was all about anything Boogery (scary in mountain talk). She too loved Halloween and was born with a caul over her face. For those of you who don't have a clue what I'm talking about, a caul is a section of the amniotic sac that appears as a thin veil over the baby's face and head. Folklore in the Appalachia's and in many other parts of the world tell that a baby born with a caul, also known as a caulbearer is "double-sighted" or has peculiar visions.

My first Halloween memories are with her and my mom, aunt and sister going to Gatlinburg to Trick or Treat downtown. Usually, my costume was just old clothes and a sooty face, but sometimes I would get a little costume from the Dime Store in Sevierville as a very special treat if we had any extra money.

They were usually devils, princesses, black cats, ghosts, and other wonderful characters and a far cry from what passes as a costume these days.

Trick or Treating in Gatlinburg during the 60's was a cornucopia of pure heavenly delights. My favorite place to go was the Old Smoky Candy Kitchen. They would give out Red Candy Apples and Pralines. Full retail size, one to each child. Never had anything tasted better on the ride home from Gatlinburg as the candy apple. Other shops on the Parkway were also generous. KarmelKorn gave small boxes of their homemade delicacy. The hotels and motels had full size bars of candy or popcorn balls.  The streets were filled with local families and a handful of tourist who were the last  remnants of the October leaf crowd. When November the 1st arrived the streets of Gatlinburg would look like a ghost town, with only a handful of shops open during the day.

In 1966, the world was introduced to the Great Pumpkin and the Peanuts gang in the animated special. I clearly remember the excitement of going to the neighbors house (color TV) and sitting in the floor as close to the TV as I could get. This neighbor was also my first grade teacher, Ms. Sally. She was very good to me and at one time took me to her house everyday at lunch. She and her husband Gordon had a store in our community. She would give me little treats and once she gave me a Lay's Three Little Pigs mask for Halloween.  During this time, 1966,  we were living on their property. My mom and dad were in the middle of a terrible divorce battle. This was a very difficult time and I will never forget the kindness they showed us.  About 30 years later, they had both passed and the family was cleaning out the store and the personal items in a large estate sale. I was saddened to see the once loved items being sold. But that is what happens to treasures on earth...they become rust covered and moth eaten. I walked around and ending up buying Ms. Sally's very old pressure cooker/canner. Then I saw the prize: an old plastic Jack-O-Lantern.

I wondered if it had once sat in the old first grade classroom at Pittman Center as a silent observer or maybe held candy on the check out counter beside the ancient cash register at Gordon's store.  Its black paint is peeling and it has a large crack down the side. Jack now has a place by the tattered black cat.

The highlight of the school year for me as a child was the annual Halloween Carnival at Pittman Center School. It always was on the Saturday night before Halloween. We wore our costumes and brought our treat bags.   The gymnasium was decorated into a spooky  wonderland of orange and black streamers, paper witches and white sheets transformed to ghosts. You could bob for apples or toss free throws in the basket.  Game booths were sit up and tables of homemade bake sale goodies as well. One of my most prized possessions was won at one of these games. I was lifting the Ducks from the wash basin/pond and won a grand prize. A set of ceramic planters that feature a little bear cub on a log. I was thrilled.

On the ride home I remember being in the back seat of the car and my dad pointing to the moon and asking if I could see the man in the moon? 

 

 I recall that both my mom and dad were laughing and having a great time.One of a very few unfortunately,  it was a magical evening . I still have the little planters. They have made it through numerous moves, the blizzard of '93, two marriages and about 50 years of life. My poor daughter is going to inherit some weird stuff.  Some day I will tell you about Granny's hair.... but for now back to the Carnival.
 The teachers had goodies for our treat bag and a class room had suddenly morphed into a Haunted House where you were accosted in the dark by skeletons and goblins.

If you dared to stick your hands into the box of brains, you would be forever haunted by the grizzly jello goo that stuck to your trembling fingers.
 Most of the games were simple and Carnival style, aimed at the younger children: A Dart Throw, a Duck Pond, Ring Toss, etc..

 The older kids were sneaking off to steal kisses in locker rooms and to let the air out of tires in the parking lot.Occasionally a flying egg would greet a late arrival to the Carnival and some toilet paper might be billowing from the big trees by the creek.    We had a local constable that we delighted in enticing to a good harmless game of cat and mouse. In those days we had no intent to destroy or vandalize, and the local lawman was part of the plan. I think he enjoyed chasing us around the parking lot and playground, and having a little fun himself. It was the one night he could be childlike too. Little pranksters and tricksters had one night to innocently revel and it was glorious.

                                    Times sure have changed :

We also had the crowning of the King and Queen of the Halloween Carnival  that ended the evening festivities.   One end of the shiny gymnasium floor was decorated for the soon to be royal couples to march in with much pomp and circumstance. A basketball goal had magically became an arbor of white tissue paper, balloons and orange and black party streamers to the floor, a majestic back drop. Two chairs, fit for a King and his Queen were on an elevated section, with the remainder of the  royal court seated on long benches covered with cloth. Their conspicuous legs telling us that on a normal day they would be the basketball team benches.  The honor of running for Queen and King was decided by classroom vote early in the fall.  After the candidates were elected, the process of gathering the most money began. Each class had a designated day to hold a bake sale at school, moms and dads donated raffle items and tickets were sold, Granny made a quilt and Pap might carve a beautiful songbird bird as a raffle item. At the carnival you made your last charge at making a few more dollars for the honor of the crown.

 I was the queen candidate in the 4th grade. I remember one Saturday, my friends and I  took a mason jar to Gatlinburg and pan handled all day for change on the Parkway. Dickens would have been proud. Certainly, this would be frowned upon in modern day society. The tourists gave us loose change and a smile.Most were very nice and talked to us little hillbilly's about our school and families. Some gave us a piece of candy and some even gave us a dollar bill. I remember one man gave me a five dollar bill.  
 My King candidate was Stanley. I always had a  crush on him, but he sealed it one day with a dirt clod to the head at play period and I knew he was the boy for me.

 My mom had  borrowed a formal gown from a lady in Gatlinburg that had a daughter my age. It had a white satin top and a big red crinoline full length skirt. It was the most beautiful dress I had ever seen. My pixie was teased and poofed  and a tomboy had become a princess for a few hours. While the crowd was being entertained in the gym with a cake walk, square dancers and musicians,  we were in classrooms getting dressed for the grand entrance. The secretary and the Principle were in the office counting the final totals for each class. Soon we marched into the gym, in order from 1st grade to 8th grade and took our places. There were crown bearers and robe bearers, it was a grand event.  Unfortunately, we came in second place and watched from the bench while another took our sparkly crowns and was adorned with long velvet robes... such is life.

 Many years later I watched my daughter walk in the same processional when she was in the 1st grade. It was changed several decades ago to the Fall Festival and is held in November at the new school. All essence of Halloween has long been removed.

 I like to think that decades later, the shadows of Halloweens past still join the annual march for the crown in the empty old gymnasium on the Saturday night before Halloween and the little valley nestled between the mountains and Webbs Creek lovingly holds the faint laughter of children from days gone by.

Everything In Life I Learned From I LOVE LUCY

When I was growing up we had very little in the way of material things. One luxury that we did have was a television. My love affair with the TV began at a very early age. My sister has an old diary which has a page entry stating  " we went to town today and Judy cried and screamed all the way home because she was afraid she would miss Tarzan. She didn't". The list of shows I would cry and scream over would fill this page. One of my favorites was I Love Lucy. I come from a long line of funny women;but none were as outrageous as Lucy. I struggled with whether I wanted to be like the fiery redhead or swing from a grapevine with a monkey. It was a dilemma.  I would go to the mirror and make faces like those in the above picture, then go to the apple tree and jump from branch to branch. It was about this time that fate set me on my course and I realized I could get folks to laugh. In 1963 the Knoxville Municipal Zoo got their first elephant. His name was Old Diamond and he was a Ringling Brothers Barnum and Bailey Circus bull elephant that was very aggressive and difficult to handle.  They left him after a show in Knoxville. I begged for several months to go to the big city and see him.

 Only in the scary jungles of my Tarzan TV shows had I seen such a behemoth; I imagined the trip daily as I sit glued to the TV watching head hunters.. Then finally, my cousin Pat told me that mom said she could take me to the zoo the coming Saturday.   I was the happiest child in Pittman Center for that moment in time.
 Let me tell you a little about my cousin Patricia. She was 12 years older than me and I thought she was the most sophisticated and beautiful woman on the planet. She had big teased blonde hair, cherry red lipstick and smoked Salem Menthol's.  I was about 7 when we made the journey. I was so excited. The zoo was connected to an area called Chilhowee Park and they had a roller coaster named The Mad Mouse. She bought me cotton candy after the coaster ride( my first and my last coaster ever), blotted my tears and made me promise not to tell mom she had taken me on the rickety old ride.  We then went to see the elephant. Now back in those days there wasn't any type of natural habitat. The animals were behind wire or wood fences. When I saw the 16,000 pound giant, I was both horrified and amazed. Suddenly I realized the most shocking thing...Old Diamond had five legs. I screamed at the top of my lungs "Pat, Pat...he has five legs!"
A roar of laughter erupted from the large crowd gathered to see Old Diamond.  For the life of me, I wasn't sure why they all laughed...but I liked it. So I hollered again "Look Pat, he's five legged"...again hysterical laughter. Pat was momentarily speechless and then she gathered her cool. She took a  long drag off of her Salem Menthol and suggested I take a closer look. Sure , no problem. I had waited a long time to see Old Diamond. The crowd was giggling and watching as I inched closer to the wooden rail fence above the elephant pit. A man hollered " You better look close there little girl, you may never see a five legged elephant again".  He was right.
 About that time, my worn out flip flops lost traction. I cleared the bottom rail and fell rolling, down the hill into the pit with Old Diamond. I had a birds eye view of that fifth leg and realized it was shorter than the others. Screaming and confusion ensued from above as I got up and started backing away. I looked up at Pat and she was white as a ghost and on the verge of tears. I stared up at Old Diamond and he stared back at me.  Now in my young mind, I pictured this would happen:

 However, what I saw were uniformed men running toward us from a building, I'm pretty sure they had poison tipped spears. Diamond just stood there...unphased. I didn't give them a chance to get to me. I was more afraid of them than I was the elephant.  I high tailed it up that embankment like Cheetah. When I got to the fence, Pat along with a couple of men grabbed me and lifted me over. I had lost a shoe in the great fall but was none the wiser on the leg situation. Suddenly everyone laughed and clapped. That was the moment I knew my calling.....
On the way home I got the Birds and Bees 101 and a bribery Chuck Wagon Basket from ReMacs Drive-In if I promised not to tell mom anything about what had happened.

 I loved Pat more than ever.

As the years rolled on my Lucy moments only increased. Way too many to remember so I have picked out some of my favorite memories that I think best convey the Spirit of Lucy.
Several years ago I was riding with my ex husband, who I will refer to as Ricky from this point on, in Pigeon Forge. For those not familiar with our area, Pigeon Forge is a tourist town and is the home of Dollywood.
Needless to say the traffic is horrendous most of the time. Me and Ricky were on our way home when suddenly a car passed us on the Parkway and I saw this:

 A young child behind the wheel of a car, alone driving. I freaked out and immediately dialed 911 to get him stopped before he wrecked. I made Ricky drop back and we followed him until finally a police car pulled in behind him and got him stopped. It made me feel good to know maybe I had saved his life or another persons. Maybe he had ran away and took the car.  We pulled over and watched as the officer talked to the child and then, to my surprise, he got back into his patrol car and left. The kid pulled back onto the road and continued driving. I made Ricky speed up and catch the car. As we got beside him, I was peering like a meerkat and then I looked like this:

In my defense, he should have had this sign on his back window:

Many of my Lucy moments have involved animals in one way or the other.  When I was the Mayor of our community, I organized a Halloween Trick or Treat at City Hall for the lower grades of our elementary school. Now as many of you know I love Halloween and since it was the younger kids I went with a more conservative, non scary costume:

Halloween fell on a weekend so on that Friday  we began the Trick or Treating around 2pm. At that time the school was on the same property as City Hall and the kids just walked over one class at at time to get their candy from me the friendly bovine Mayor, complete with rubber udders. After the kids had finished and went back to school, I went into the meeting room for something and was planning to go home. Suddenly , the City Recorder came in and said " There is a man here to see you about a zoning issue". She had already told him I was in the building, so there was no running like a stampede toward the back forty out the back exit door. I told her to send him in but to prepare him...apparently she didn't. He walked through the door and saw me and I knew he had no idea what the hell was going on. I had hoped it would be a local person I knew, but the poor man was from Ohio and had just bought a house in our community. Rarely do comedic opportunities such as this just fall into your udders.  I never batted a heifer eye. I just extended my hand and introduced myself as I asked him what I could do for him. He mumbled a minute and then began to ask about a zoning ordinance. We sat down and I reached and intentionally adjusted my plastic udders. He watched uncomfortably and continued to ask some general questions about our Town since he and his wife had recently moved to the area. I offered him something to drink- he chose coffee. Of course my next question was "Do you want fresh cream with that"? He quickly said "NO, no thank you". Our conversation continued another twenty uncomfortable minutes with neither of us acknowledging the spotted cow in the room, so to speak. It was difficult to maintain my composure and not crack up. But I just kept saying in my head "What Would Lucy Do"?  He shook my hand again, thanking me for my time and left. I don't think they live here anymore.

Rewind a little to  the wonderful 80's, my daughter attended the same elementary school mentioned above. As I would take her to school we kept seeing a mixed breed black dog hanging out at an abandoned building near the school. Of course my dog loving bones started to ache as I watched the stray stand by the roadside. My daughter said the dog hung around the school and was getting scraps from the lunch room. So I took a bowl and put it at the building and fed her everyday. It wasn't long before we realized the dog was expecting. So from that day we called her Mamma Dog. I noticed other foot prints around her bowl and realized other folks were also giving her dog food.  One day we saw Mamma Dog and she had obviously had her pups. I watched her climb in and out from under the old store building, long abandoned. With in a couple of weeks I could hear the pups whining so I climbed under with a flashlight to be greeted by a growling mamma and several little shining eyes. It was at this time that I became this:

I would save those pups come hell or high water, literally. This area is in a flooding zone and we had been having some high rains. A couple more weeks had passed and I had only heard the pups, I had never seen them out.  The river runs right beside the old building. My daughter and I went to fill the dog bowl in the rain. While we were parked we heard puppies crying from the river bank. A couple were on rocks in the river and the rest were across the stream on the hillside. Damn the high water, we were getting those pups. This stream is usually knee deepish at most areas but in a flash flood it becomes a force of nature not to be reckoned with. We quickly gathered pups, throwing them into the back seat of my car as the water rose. No sign of  Momma Dog.  We headed home with a Volvo full of howling canines. I was surprised at how healthy they looked. They were about 6-8 weeks old, and they were beautiful. Multiple colors and just  wonderful.

My daughter with the pups and our shepherd Gambler

We put up a make shift pen in the yard as Ricky screamed and cursed in Pig Latin and then stomped off to the Tropicana.... I began the task of finding them a home. It was no problem. I was adopting out pups to the left and right. Within a few days I only had one left to find a home for. That particular weekend Ricky and I pulled into the local grocery store to buy a cola. One of my friends uncle runs the store and she was there. I ask her if she knew anyone who would like a puppy. She said no and then told me that someone had stolen all of her uncles prized Australian Herding dog puppies from their farm. They had overnight rentals and they suspected a recent guest may have taken them all....once again, I looked like this:

Oh Shiiiitt........

I managed to hold it together until we got out of the parking lot. My ears were ringing, my heart was pounding and somewhere in the spinning distance I heard Ricky laughing .... I then looked like this:

I stole someones prize pups.......

"Lucy you must do this" declared an angry Ricky when we got home:

But I couldn't, I just could not do it.....

 I cried and snotted and begged him to please make the call for me. Some may wonder how the pups were at the creek. The back of the farm runs to the creek area and I suppose they followed mom....who knows.
I laid on the couch and kicked my feet in a true Lucy tantrum.... I bargained with Ricky that I would never ask to go into show business (dog rescue) again  if he would call for me and 'Splain what had happened.
Finally, after I wore him down, he agreed. I had a pillow over my head crying as I expected the local police at any minute to cart me to the big house. I heard him 'splain how I thought they were strays and I had already given them to families in the area. Fortunately, the forgiveness gods shined on me that day. The owner didn't want to upset children who were attached already to their new puppy and he was relieved his cabin guests hadn't taken them.  I was crushed...I hadn't been back to the building because Momma Dog had been gone since I took the puppy's. Guilt, guilt and more guilt. I knew it was too late for the other pups.....


Once upon a time there was a woman who wanted lap-band weight loss surgery. Finally, she was approved and a date was set for the procedure. Unfortunately, the woman had a flare up of diverticulitis and lost just enough weight to no longer be eligible for surgery. This was a nightmare! There had to be a way...again,
WWLD?

 The old wheels started to turn....she only needed 4 pounds. The hospital told her she would be weighed just before surgery and if she was even 1 pound below the minimum , they would cancel the procedure.
She remembered an episode of Andy Griffith were Barney was about to lose his job due to his weight being too low... the answer for him was a large chain around his neck under the uniform. She called and was told she would be weighed bare feet, in a hospital gown. This was a challenge. But then:

She went to Walmart and bought ankle weights with individual pockets of small sand bags. Then she went and borrowed a VERY large bra...Thank God for big boobed relatives, I was told she exclaimed!  In each side of the bra she sewed a pouch with 2 pounds of sand. I heard she put the bra on in the parking lot just before she entered the hospital. I was later told that after she got into the pre-op area and was weighed she was only 1 pound over the minimum amount. Whew...that is what you call a close one. Just before she was ready to get the IV , she allegedly  made a quick run into the bathroom. I heard she went in a double D and came out a C cup, but no one noticed. Legend says that later that day a suspicious item was found in the Bio-Hazard container.   The end.


You may have heard of Snakes On A Plane but have you heard of a Snake In A Maytag? It was a beautiful October Sunday afternoon and I was getting ready to do some laundry for my daughter and her friend who had just came off of Mt. LeConte from an overnight trip. I was standing sorting clothes dropping them in the washer when I thought..hmm I have never seen that black rubber piece all along the top of the drum....Oh My Gawd its moving...SNAKE!!!!!!!  Now I am an ex Park Ranger, but let me get surprised by a snake, spider or mouse and I am going to scream like a little girl or like Lucy:

I slammed the lid and screamed for the kids to get in there and help. My daughter is worse than me with a snake..her friend manned up and came in to help me. We opened the lid and it was not there. You know what is worse than a snake in the washer? Not knowing where it went..he banged the side of the washer and it shot out and tried to go up the wall. It was a black racer. They are aggressive and stand up and look like Cobras. I screamed to block the door to the laundry room. I knew if it cleared the doorway I would have to commit arson, and I don't wear stripes well. He and I frantically tried to pin it down with the only thing we had a Swiffer Sweeper. My daughter was like jelly standing in the back of the hall mortified. Finally, he said I think I have its head pinned..we looked at each other a minute, and the "you get it, no you get it" began. Since I was the woman of the house (Ricky had long gone to beat his Bongos elsewhere) and he was an invited guest, I knew it fell on me to do the deed. First I want to give you a mental picture. I , of course, was in flannel pajamas. My grey hair piled on my head in a bun. In my house is a center fireplace that you can walk all the way around. I have a screened in porch that locks and I usually keep the front main door open when the weather is pretty .It was a beautiful Fall afternoon in the Smokies. I got a pillow case and worked the long body of the snake into it...I got my hand as close to the Swiffer(head) as possible and we just looked at each other. "How much of the head is under the Swiffer"  I asked . He didn't know for sure. I yelled at Courtney "Go get the front door open" and I heard her sprint from the hallway. "Is it open?" YES.  OK, on 3, let go of the Swiffer.... 1,2, 3eeeeehhhh. Enough of the snake was above my hand for it to turn and look me in the eyes and try to strike my wrist. I screamed like a wild woman and ran...it looked like I should be in  this:

I ran screaming for the door, my daughter ran screaming from the door as we passed each other. As soon as I got to the porch I realized the screen was locked. "Oh my Lord Court, you didn't unlock the screen door! Get back here". She yelled no and I had to run back into the house with the snake above my head, it striking, just missing my hand. I lapped the fireplace, Holy Ghost Revival style and she ran the other way around the fireplace to the porch and unlocked the door and opened it wide. I live on a well traveled road and my neighbor was home. Cars were slowing down as I ran screaming into the yard with a snake over my head running for the creek. Why I just didn't drop it sooner I will never know. I didn't kill it.. I don't kill animals of any type if there is an alternative. My daughter and friend were all in tow as I reached the creek and threw him , pillow case and all. But guess what ? Being a racer, I suppose my laps had just warmed him up. He came out of the case, stood up about a third of his body and looked at us all like: Really? You want to play this game? Here he came up the creek bank and started toward us on the lawn.  We screamed and ran back to the house. I had to go to the comfort of the Granny Bed for hours..... being Lucy is not easy!

Where's my heating pad?